Thursday, July 26, 2012

Shocking news from the FUCI

(Antwerp, Belgium) - In a shocking press conference this morning, Johan Verbagel, the head of the International Fantasy Cycling Union, announced that the results of the 2012 Luna Cycles Fantasy Tour de France presented by Uncle Chuck's New School Pregreaser were nullified and that the entire race was being wiped from the records.

Citing issues in the race, Mr. Verbagel declared, "It was so boring. Did you watch the whole thing? No? Neither did we." The specter of doping within the pro peloton raised its head once again when a reporter asked if what we saw this year was truly a "clean" Tour.

"Look," Mr. Verbagel responded sharply, "allegations of doping by riders is outside the purview of the FUCI, but I strongly believe that a massive and coordinated doping campaign was mounted to drug every viewer of this year's Tour in order to keep them watching this boring, travesty of a stage race. We assure you that we will get to the bottom of this. Thank you."
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