Monday, July 02, 2012

Enjoy your day in yellow

I caught up with directeur sportif Grant Dunstan of the La Folie Flyer's as he was stepping out of his suite on the way to a club to celebrate his capture of the yellow jersey in the 2012 Luna Cycles Big Deal Fantasy Tour de France presented by Uncle Chuck's New School Pregreaser. Grant shared a bit of old d. s. wisdom when he shared that the best use of the maillot jaune was to wear it out to the clubs because all the men will buy your drinks and "all the chicks dig it". Thank you, Oh Wise Sage.

And yet again, we run into the one and done phenomenon of teams that capture the Fantasy Tour lead and barely have time to start tricking out team bikes with yellow accents before the wild and crazy ride with the golden fleece is over. Not even a stage win by Team Hoogerland's Thigh sprinter Mark Cavendish could stop the testosterone-infused fried chicken powered Team SRAM Red 2012 p/b Bojangle's from taking the yellow jersey from the La Folie Flyer's, wiping the grease off of its collective faces, and asking for more biscuits and sweet tea. Yes, alleged cheating directeur sportif Quint Ervin must be basking in some juices of self satisfaction as he takes the lead of the LCBDFTdFpbUCNSP. We await his comments with bated breath.

Now to a matter that strikes at the heart of my journalistic integrity. A report surfaced in today's Cyclingnews that said, "Shortly thereafter there was another large crash when a fan saw the need to stand in the road to make photos." The writer, Susan Westemeyer, did not seek me out for an interview after this incident and the article would indicate that I am to blame for the crash. As you may recall from my report yesterday, I just happened to be in the right place at the right time to catch a photo of this particular crash and am in no way to blame for its occurrence. Let me set you straight on your "facts" Ms. Westemeyer: 1 - I'm a fantasy journalist NOT a fan (how dare you impune a fellow journalist) and 2 - I didn't see a need to stand in the road to make photos, I was in the road to capture the best shots for my coverage. It could be a lot worse. I could have hopped on the back of some random motorcycle and started buzzing around like a crazy person like other photographers I've seen. That can't be legit. 

So I see that the persecution of the American has begun with these foreigners. One minor photographic incident, like a non-negative test at the Tour of Switzerland, can be overblown to the point of calling into question my spectacular Fantasy Tour de France journalistic career. A career, I might add, in which I have successfully posted hundreds of photos and reports over the years, none of which have ever resulted in a mishap like yesterday. I think that this is a pretty clear cut case of European bias against me - the most successful Fantasy Tour de France journalist in history. 
Post a Comment