Friday, June 29, 2012


I arrived at the International Fantasy Cycling Union press conference a bit later than anticipated, but managed to talk to a guy who was standing close to a guy who heard some people talking about the announcement that Heinz Verbatim made regarding the doping allegations against Team Luna Cycles and Team SRAM Red 2012 p/b Bojangle's. Through some very thorough journalistic work on my part and a serious dent put into my per diem account thanks to the need to keep myself and several of my interviewees well hydrated with various electrolyte solutions from the bar, I can confidently say that Mr. Verbatim pronounced both teams fit for competition and denounced any allegations of cheating in this edition of the Luna Cycle Big Deal Fantasy Tour de France presented by Uncle Chuck's New School Pregreaser, "You never knew how slick it could be!", as ludicrous and laughable. The respective directeur sportifs of the two teams must be breathing a sigh of relief at this moment and as soon as I am able to break free of the high level negotiations I am involved in with several female "reporters" at the Parisian Night Club I have come to in pursuit of "background" for the in depth reporting I am doing here, I will make sure to get statements from them.
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