A local lab has leaked the positive results of Dyer's A sample for cholinesterase inhibitors, a drug which may have some effect on a rider's ability to see into the future. Called by many "a miracle of sports forecasting", Mr. Dyer's performance on Sunday showed him correctly picking the first 3 places in Sundays contest. USADA has declined comment on the case until the B sample test is completed.
In a telephone interview with Michael Ball, head of Rock Racing, he confirmed the negotiations between his organization and Mr. Dyer. "Are you kidding me? The guy picked the top three correctly, I mean, who wouldn't want a guy with those skills as a part of their team.", Mr. Ball stated. Rock Racing is currently looking at jumping into the fantasy cycling arena by fielding a Rock&Republic Fantasy Cycling Team. It is rumored that Dyer is being wooed as a potential directeur sportif for the upcoming Fantasy Giro d'Italia and this summer's Fantasy Tour de France. When pressed about trying to add yet another drug-scandal tinged cyclist to his organization, Mr. Ball remains defiant. "I don't care about the 'powers that be'. This is a team about winning and Max has shown he is a winner. We were partying at the Crazy Horse in Myrtle Beach just last week. The guy is all class and that's what Rock Racing is all about. I've got this 13 year old kid on the staff who is a total wiz with computers and excel spreadsheets and crap like that. You add Max to that kind of statistical firepower and magic is gonna happen!"
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An official statement from Dyer's legal counsel: "Max says this: The only thing that could have happened is that I did use a large dose of Chuck L's Mangina cream prior to the last group ride and I know that it can give you great mind powers. And if that's not what caused the positive then it had to be from the diaper that I changed that Friday night, there were dozens of banned substances in that, possibly even this cholon-storm stuff that everyone is so hung up on."
I believe
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