Thursday, June 12, 2008

Disaster!

Lenoir, NC (LC Press)- An unthinkable stage ending resulted in all but one team being shut out of the top 10. Team High Life presented by Miller racked up big points with a runaway stage victory with a 45 point differential to the rest of the teams.

In other news, Ricardo Cabeza, head of FADA, has issued a statement in reference to recent allegations against GS Spurtschnookers and Team Birra Carolini.

After investigating recent allegations, FADA has determined that there is no evidence of widespread doping within GS Spurtschnookers and Team Birra Carolini. After conducting surprise inspections at rider's homes, we are satisfied that there is no systematic use of orange juice and cat urine in order to boost athletic performance. While most riders had several cats as pets and had small orange groves in their backyards, these things do not constitute evidence of doping. We must now turn our attention to the fact that there were 3 french riders who crossed the line first in today's stage of the Dauphine. Come on, a french rider winning a stage is suspicious enough, but the top 3? That's got doping written all over it.



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