Independence Day

Each summer since we have lived here, Golden and I have had some big thing planned for each summer. Cross country road trips occurred a couple of times, but mainly we have been staying closer to home and concentrating our efforts on big home improvement projects. The one constant of our summers in Lenoir has been that I usually do something pretty stupid, but manage not to do any permanent damage to myself.

This summer is no different. The big project, currently underway, is building a new porch on the side of the house. Now the old porch and me... let's just say we have some history. Ever since the porch tried to kill me, I've had it in for it.

It was July 4th, about 3 or 4 years ago. G and I had gone for a 3ish hour ride, planning to grill steaks and drink beer and generally enjoy the holiday. We got home, put up the bikes and decided that she would shower, while I got the grill started.

Now, let me preface by saying that I am a long time devotee of gas grills, so our new charcoal grill was a bit of a new experience for me. I put in the briquettes and tried to light them. No go. I tried to use kindling a la campfire starting. No go.

For anyone who knows me, it probably isn't readily apparent that I am an analytical thinker who considers problems carefully before enacting a solution. So I considered my problem of how to start the charcoal without the use of lighter fluid, since I didn't have any and didn't especially want to make the trek to get any.

I remembered that I had Coleman stove fuel. You know the big gallon metal can of white gas. Owing to the fact that I have had an unfortunate incident with this very substance which nearly started a forest fire in the White Mtns. of eastern Arizona, I was naturally cautious about how to approach the proper use of the fuel in this situation.

I went down and got the can, brought it up to the porch where the grill was located and proceeded to pour a small amount into the cap of the metal can. I poured the fuel onto the charcoal and tried to light it. A little tiny, infinitesimal flame barely licked one of the briquettes . Now I thought to myself, "Just pour a little more on and it should be all good, but be CAREFUL!" So, I tipped the can up and just poured a dash of the gas onto the briquettes.

I distinctly remember watching the little tiny nothing of a flame grow very large and travel up the stream of gas towards the can in my hands. I distinctly remember thinking, "OK, don't panic. This isn't a problem. You can deal with this." There was now a flame at the opening of the can. I knew that the solution was to just set the can down, and put the lid on it to deprive the flame of oxygen and smother it out. I slowly put the can down, but somehow the bottom edge of the can caught in the space between two of the porch decking boards and caused it to tip over, spilling flaming, white gas all over my porch.

The neighbor across the street immediately yelled, "You got a far!" To which I thought, "No s*it, I'm in the middle of a burning lake of fire." I ran inside the house, yelling, "Call 911! Call 911!" Golden looked at me, fresh from her shower, and said, "What have you done?" in an eerie deadpan. I called 911 and got the firetrucks on the way.

I went back outside, where I discovered a small crowd of people had gathered in the hopes of watching my house burn down. One of them was my neighbor from a few doors down, who a co-worker of mine had always referred to as "Dumbass David". It is completely relevant to this story to tell you that David drove a riding lawn mower everywhere because he was no longer allowed to ride moped due to causing an accident to an ambulance while chasing fire trucks on their way to a call. In southern parlance, David is someone who would be referred to as "simple" and would usually have "bless his heart" uttered after his name. As in, "Oh you know David, bless his heart, didn't mean to run over that dog with his lawn mower."

David came right up to me and said, "Where's your hose?" Realizing pretty quickly that a probable pyromaniac of questionable mental ability was probably not anyone's number one pick for go-to guy in this situation, I said we should wait for the fire department to arrive. Sure enough, red trucks with lights and sirens come blasting down the street. A bunch of guys pile out, hoses are pulled out and I walk up to them and say, "It's a white stove fuel fire." Hoses go back up, chemical extinguishers come out and after about 30 seconds, I'm no longer barbecuing my porch.

The head guy from the fire crew came over to me and asked me what caused the fire. I replied, "I was doing something stupid." I like to think that the expression that flashed across his face was an appreciation of my blunt honesty, but I can't be sure. Needless to say, however, is that that was the day the porch tried to kill me and I swore that I would kill it first.

So now porch is torn off, but hidden by its decrepitude was a 10ft. section of rotten sill that ran from the front corner of my house to the midway point of the wall. I had no choice but to cut it out and replace it. This meant jacking up the corner of the house from underneath and then cutting the board out and putting a new one in. A touchy, tricky affair, but doable.

This brings me to an inescapable rule of carpentry in the Moore family: I will hit myself in the head (one of the balusters from the porch railing) and my Dad will, at the very least, bleed profusely from some wound that he is completely unaware of. So, here we are, father and son, carefully preparing to undertake this daunting task. We are prepared to stick the sawzall into the hole in the board and we get my Mom to do a final check to make sure we won't cut anything but the sill. Mom gives us the all clear from down in the basement and we start cutting.

If you have never used a sawzall, I highly recommend trying it out. Pick some unneccesary wall in your house and just cut a big ol' hole in it. It is immensely satisfying, I assure you. Anyway, we are cutting right along and we hit a little something and a spark jumps out. Dad stops cutting and we figure he must have hit a nail. He starts cutting again and my Mom runs out of the basement, yelling "Stop! Stop!"

Let me pause here and tell you that we have been trying, unsuccessfully, to kill my father for many years. Like the Terminator, nothing seems to phase him and his cutting through a 220 volt, live electrical wire with the sawzall, was no different.

It seems that my Mom giving us the all clear, was part of a grander master plan to, for once and for all, dispose of my Dad in an "accidental" way. We got the sill replaced, but now my Dad is truly convinced of his invincibility and my stove doesn't work until the electrician comes to rewire it.

So, enjoy your Independence Day! and don't do anything that I would do...

Tour kicks off this weekend!

Lenoir, NC (LC Press)- Both the Tour de france and the more prominent and better known Luna Cycles Fantasy Tour de France presented by Uncle Chuck's Classic Depilatory Cream for Men, start this weekend. The most talented and hard working directeurs sportif have been working hard to finalize their rosters for this, the most important event in the cycling and fantasy cycling world.

But this wouldn't be a Tour de France (fantasy or otherwise) without a scandal and a small contretemps has already arisen for Charles Bennett and his Far North Team. Mr. Bennett tried to circumvent the new rule requiring at least 1 french rider per team by including the french-sounding Phillipe Gilbert on his squad. A warning letter was sent to Mr. Bennett by the FUCI, but he has yet to respond.

Other than the deception of Mr. Bennett, no issues have arisen from the team submissions and all riders are fit to compete for their respective teams. The deadline for team rosters is Thursday at midnight.

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Outer Banks Headwind Tour

I'm finally recovered enough and back in the swing of non-vacation life enough to write about our trip. We took off from Manteo, not knowing how Owen would respond to doing A LOT of miles in the trailer and not knowing how he was going to take camping in a tent for a week. Both things he took completely in stride and never had an issue, other than thinking the tent was a little play room and wanting to do crawling laps all over mom and dad when they were ready for sleep.

We battled STRONG headwinds and heat from Manteo all the way to Ocracoke. If you ever need to get strong in a hurry, tow a baby trailer behind you into a headwind for a few hours a day. I had to tell myself I was being belgian by pulling into the wind all day, every day and the trailer just amplified that feeling.

We had a great time, played in the ocean and on the beach, saw lots of boats plus 3 lighthouses, ate some great seafood and enjoyed an awesome tailwind all the way home!

We have a winner... finally!

Lenoir, NC (LC Press)- After much deliberation in which both the FUCI and FADA did eveything they could in order to figure out a way to disqualify him, DS Jack Brown's Team Mahagoff has won the Luna Cycles Fantasy Dauphine Libere presented by Chuck L's Old-Fashioned Brown Eye Ointment.

The Luna Cycles Fantasy Tour de France is gearing up and FUCI president, Julian Pomme de Terre has released a statement outlining the rules for this year's race:

Because the Tour de France is a french race, we require that every team, in addition to having their usual 3 riders, must include a fourth french rider on the team. This french rider will be scored differently from non-french riders in that scoring will be for a finish in the top 40 on the day's stage. A win by a french rider will be worth 200 pts. as opposed to the 100 pts. given for non-french riders. The points scale will be adjusted accordingly from there. Teams whose points totals for the days stage are in the top 3 for that stage will also receive a point bonus a la the Dauphine. Point bonuses of 50 points will be given for every day that one of your riders wears the maillot vert, blanc or maillot a pois, but not for the maillot jaune. This should prove to be an exciting race, so teams will not be allowed to have more than two riders in common. In the event that more than two riders are shared, the team that submits their roster first will have precedence and the other will be informed to resubmit. All team rosters will be due the Thursday prior to the start of the race.

Final Results

I'm out

Sorry for the delay in scoring the Dauphine. Ever since 3 frenchmen made a break stick and Tom Boonen tested positive for cocaine, I've just been out of sorts. To put things right, I'm leaving for a bike tour of the Outer Banks in about 5 hours. I'll sort out the mess of the Dauphine when I return and our ignominous winner will be duly crowned and heckled!

Disaster!

Lenoir, NC (LC Press)- An unthinkable stage ending resulted in all but one team being shut out of the top 10. Team High Life presented by Miller racked up big points with a runaway stage victory with a 45 point differential to the rest of the teams.

In other news, Ricardo Cabeza, head of FADA, has issued a statement in reference to recent allegations against GS Spurtschnookers and Team Birra Carolini.

After investigating recent allegations, FADA has determined that there is no evidence of widespread doping within GS Spurtschnookers and Team Birra Carolini. After conducting surprise inspections at rider's homes, we are satisfied that there is no systematic use of orange juice and cat urine in order to boost athletic performance. While most riders had several cats as pets and had small orange groves in their backyards, these things do not constitute evidence of doping. We must now turn our attention to the fact that there were 3 french riders who crossed the line first in today's stage of the Dauphine. Come on, a french rider winning a stage is suspicious enough, but the top 3? That's got doping written all over it.

Complete Results

Day 3 Dauphine surprise

Lenoir, NC (LC Press)- Little success among the teams is keeping things close. Team Mahagoff still leads, but the point differentials aren't enough to say there is anybody walking away with this one... yet.

In other news, Julian Pomme de Terre, head of the UFCI has announced that an investigation is being opened regarding allegations that both GS Spurtschnookers and Team Birra Carolini are involved in a performance enhancement drug ring. An unidentified witness has testified to FADA that both teams have been using a new substance made from orange juice and cat urine. Ricardo Cabeza, FADA commissioner, was unable to be reached for comment at press time.

Complete Results

The Dauphine begins

Lenoir, NC (LC Press)- After a red eye flight direct from the French Riviera, I have arrived just in time for the prologue of the Dauphine Libere. Team Mahagoff scored a big win by landing the first 3 places in the prologue. The race is on and bonus points could prove a big deciding factor in this short 7 stage tune-up for the Tour de France.

Complete Results

Getting in gear

thanks Bobkestrut











As I sun myself beside the cool, azure blue waters of the Mediterranean, I can't help but reflect on the epic, hard fought battles of the Luna Cycles Fantasy Giro d'Italia presented by Chuck L's Mangina Cream. As the directeurs sportif make preparations for le grand boucle in July, they must now turn their attention to the Luna Cycles Fantasy Dauphine Libere. Due to the anti-doping crusade of both the FADA and UFCI, little notice is being given to teams of this upcoming race. To that end, entries for this race are due to me by 8am EST on June 8th. The format for this race is slightly tweaked from the Giro. Choose 3 riders. They will be given the usual points based on their finish in the top 20. In addition, there will be point bonuses of 20 pts, 10 pts and 5 pts to the top 3 teams of that day's stage, based on placing points. This is a test run of one of the scoring changes for the upcoming Luna Cycles Fantasy Tour de France presented by Chuck L's Old-Fashioned Brown Eye Ointment. Get those entries in tout suite!

Bottle caps fly as Fantasy Giro wraps up!

Lenoir, NC (LC Press)- As his team downed the classic Luna Cycles Fantasy Giro d'Italia presented by Chuck L's Mangina Cream winner's bottles of Boone's Farm Strawberry Wine, DS Ron Swenson was able to reflect on how Team Shooting Star Racing was able to hold the maglia rosa all the way to the finish.

Shooting Star Racing would like to thank the organizers of the Luna Cycles Fantasy Giro d'Italia presented by Chuck L's Mangina Cream for putting on a great race. We are honored to have won this first edition of the Giro against a first rate field and anticipate an equally exciting Tour de France in July. Our team is savoring this victory now and will begin preparing for a defense at the Tour. We have no comment at this time about the "points for prostitutes" scandal or the alledged accusations leveled at officials regarding scoring inconsistencies.

Director Sportiff - Shooting Star Racing

Ron Swenson

The UFCI released a statement congratulating Swenson and his team.

We are sincere in our congratulations to Team Shooting Star Racing for showing that a team can win without resorting to the immoral tactics that lesser talented teams have come to rely on. We look forward to seeing Mr. Swenson try to win the Luna Cycles Fantasy Tour de France presented by Chuck L's Old Fashioned Brown Eye Ointment in July.

Julian Pomme de Terre, Director UFCI

Another hotly contested prize was sewn up by DS Jeff Welch's team as they scored zero points in their 12th stage of this 21 stage race. This truly remarkable performance earned Welch the coveted maglia nero. It remains to be seen if Welch plans on trying to capture the lanterne rouge in July.

John McMenemy's Team Cheeseballs and DS Todd Braswell's team took 2nd and 3rd respectively. Congratulations to all of the competitors for a hard fought race.


Final Results

Brutal day ahead

Lenoir, NC (LC Press)- Today's stage did little to change the standings of the Luna Cycles Fantasy Giro d'Italia presented by Chuck L's Mangina Cream. Braswell's stage win of 100 points did little to close the gap on Team Shooting Stars as they earned 97 points on the day.

Tomorrow will be a day of fireworks as the race will cross the Passo del Gavia, Cima Coppi and will finish on the infamous Mortirolo. Expect serious fireworks from Ricco, DiLuca (il killer de Spoltore) and maybe even Simoni. Contador's lead is slim at best and everyone will be gunning to gain as much time on him as they can to offset any deficits they may incur on Sunday's final stage time trial.

This will be a stage worth watching live. If you don't have cycling.tv there are still ways to get the live feed. Check this site out for free live feeds!

Complete results

Welch all but locks up maglia nero

Lenoir, NC (LC Press)- While the battle to win this year's Luna Cycles Fantasy Giro d'Italia presented by Chuck L's Mangina Cream is still way up in the air, DS Jeff Welch has all but ensured his quest to win the battle at the other end of the GC: the maglia rosa or numero nero. While winning the GC takes determination, strength and luck, those riders who find themselves in contention to be the last placed slot on the GC must use wit, cunning and guile to win the race for last. A stunning stage win by DS Charles Hicks' Team Straightouttamyass has wrecked his chances to be in contention for the coveted black number and handed apparent victory to Welch.

In other news, Team Far North has become deeply embroiled in scandal as they have admitted to receiving to many points for their performance in stage 17. Earlier today, Bennett released this statement:

To further enshrine the spirit of competition and sportsmanship I would like to point out that FADA was simply doing their job, though I would ask that testers not report all the extracurricular activities they may have witnessed at the hotel. I would like to further solidify my popular place in UFCI history by reporting that, once again, there have been scoring errors made with team Far North for stage 17. Though these scoring errors will certainly spell my doom come this weekend, I feel it necessary to 'ride clean'.

Charles Bennett, DS - Far North

An internal investigation by the UFCI has revealed that there may have been collusion between Bennett and several UFCI officials in a "points for prostitutes" setup. The UFCI would not release the names of the implicated officials, but has assured the press that they are no longer officiating the Luna Cycles Fantasy Giro d'Italia presented by Chuck L's Mangina Cream. No sanctions have been made against Team Far North as the UFCI is likely to try to discretely put this matter to rest.

The battle for the overall win begins tomorrow as the roads turn upward for the final weekend of the race. All eyes are on DS Todd Braswell as he looks to be poised to unleash fire and brimstone in a bid to win it in the mountains.

Complete Results

Open letter

Dear lady who honked her horn at me for over a mile,

I wish we could have had more of a discussion about the rights of cyclists on the road in NC. Since you seemed so disinterested in what I had to say ("You just shut up!", seemed to be your favorite thing to say. Except for "You're going to Hell!!" which was easily your most uttered phrase.) Since you didn't want to hear what I had to say, I would like to clear up some things that may have been causing you so much distress.

In NC

































I understand you were late for your doctor's appointment, but I would like to point out that you wasted a lot of time riding behind me laying on the horn and passed up several opportunities to safely pass by and go about your merry way.

I hope you have pleasant driving experiences in the future and I suggest repeating the following mantra: "Cyclists are friends, not obstacles."

Thanks!

p.s. I apologize for asking you how that $3.90 a gallon gas is treating you, but if you would like to give bike commuting a try I know a great bike shop that can help you get started!

Dyer dances with glory, Bennett drained

Lenoir, NC (LC Press) - Team Low Road scored a subtle victory over Rising Star and Team Cheeseballs, moving himself into 3rd overall. Thursday's stage will be the last before the seriousness sets in, the roads tilt up and the contenders go for broke.

In other news, Team Far North was visited by FADA (Fantasy Anti-Doping Association) representatives at 4 am in their hotel. Blood samples were taken and tested from the team and the hotel rooms were searched. No illicit activity was found. FADA President, Ricardo Cabeza, made a statement to the press stating that FADA had merely conducted a routine, surprise inspection. He emphatically denied the rumor that the inspection was conducted as retaliation for recent press statements made by Team Far North's DS Charles Bennett with regards to scoring discrepancies from Stage 15 of the Luna Cycles Fantasy Giro d'Italia presented by Chuck L's Mangina Cream.

Complete Results

Braswell makes it a triple

Lenoir, NC (LC Press)- Brawell's team has made it 3 stage wins in a row and he has now moved into 3rd overall in the GC. Tomorrow's rest day will be a good chance for the top riders to decide their next course of action. Friday and Saturday's stages will be the last mountain romps and will see the final maglia rosa taken.

Complete Results

Two for two in the lofty reaches of the atmosphere

Lenoir, NC (LC Press)- Todd Braswell's team made it two in a row with another stage win today. This now moves The Chosen into 4th place on the GC and they are rising like a rocket towards the podium and a possible maglia rosa. Ron Swenson once again took the overall lead with strong showings by Contador and DiLuca, but Ricco and Simoni paid off huge dividends to Braswell. The next few mountain days could provide a turbulent outlook for the GC.

Secure in the lantern rouge position, DS Jeff Welch is all but assured a coveted last place finish in the overall GC at the end of this year's Luna Cycles Fantasy Giro d'Italia presented by Chuck L's Mangina Cream.

Complete Results

The Chosen tem scores big in first ascension into the heavens

Lenoir, NC (LC Press)- DS Todd Braswell took a much needed stage win in the first true test of this year's Luna Cycles Fantasy Giro d'Italia presented by Chuck L's Mangina Cream. The stage also brought a shake up in the GC as Team Low Road vaulted from 3rd to 1st overall.

Complete Results

McEwan misses, Bennatti blazes

Lenoir, NC (LC Press)- Max Dyer's new sponsors at Lick Log Biological Testing Labs may have given Team Low Road the extra oomph needed to win today's stage in the Luna Cycles Fantasy Giro d'Italia presented by Chuck L's Mangina Cream. A huge 230 point victory has brought the top 3 GC teams within 64 points of each other.

Meanwhile, the other teams are languishing further and further behind. The coming mountains may be the key to a wholesale change in the overall standings. Friday's stage will be the last romp for the sprinters for a while and, as DiLuca has stated, the real Giro starts Saturday.

In other news, it has been rumored that Chuck L's Mangina Cream may seek an injunction against Dave Zabriskie to prevent the sale of his new line of chamois creams, DZNuts. It is unclear at this time what the legal justification for this action is, but we can only speculate that Chuck Luddeke, owner of Chuck L's Mangina Cream, is afraid of losing market share to Zabriskie due to the inherent coolness of the product's name.

Complete Results

All quiet on the Italian Front

Lenoir, NC (LC Press)- A tie between the 1st and 2nd placed GC teams for today's stage meant little change in the order of the standings. While the gap to 1st and 2nd place widened a bit, the gap between 1st and 2nd remained the same.

There are two days for the sprinters before the roads soar skyward. Saturday will be brutal, but Sunday's stage looks set to be agonizing. Those teams stacked with sprinters may find themshttp://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gifelves riderless after the mountains. Time will tell...

Complete Results

The gap widens

Lenoir, NC (LC Press)- A big win by DS Charles Bennett's Far North Team was not enough to wrest the GC lead from Ron Swenson today. Swenson's lead now stands at over 100 points on second place. The DS's need to do whatever it takes to get their GC contenders to put up some big numbers or Swenson will walk away with this one!

Complete Results

Scandalo!

Lenoir, NC (LC Press)- Max Dyer took a huge stage win today, racking up an astonishing 210 points and moving himself into 2nd place in the GC. Cleared of doping charges just a month ago in the Luna Cycles Fantasy Paris-Roubaix, Dyer's finish today might be viewed by some as simply a remarkable result by a remarkable team. The second place stage finish by Dyer's former team doctor now directeur sportif of Team Cheeseballs, John McMenemy, has raised eyebrows amongst fantasy cycling's top officials.

While no charges have been leveled or even discussed, the officials in charge of the Luna Cycles Fantasy Giro d'Italia presented by Chuck L's Mangina Cream have assured the tifosi that this year's edition is totally clean and they restated their zero-tolerance policy for doping.

Amongst the long time reporters of this Grand Fantasy Tour, the opinion most shared was that today marked a solid performance by the sprinters. The widely held belief was that any rumors of doping were unjustified and took away from the hard work put forth by the riders today.

Tomorrow brings a much needed rest day before Tuesday's individual time trial. Discussions amongst the team directors show David Millar as the odds on favorite for a stage win. A strong showing by the overall favorites could shake up the GC profoundly. DS Ron Swenson will be able to relax after today's successful defense of the maglia rosa knowing that tomorrow the jersey will remain his without a fight.

Complete Results

Birthday brouhaha brings bicycling brilliance for Darden!

Lenoir, NC (LC Press)- Placing 2 riders in the top 3 and having a third rider finish in the top 20 of the Luna Cycles Fantasy Giro d'Italia presented by Chuck L's Mangina Cream brought much needed smiles and points to GS Spurtschnookers directeur sportif Jason Darden on his birthday. His tally of 175 points on the stage brought him a narrow stage victory over DS Todd Braswell who posted a not quite good enough 170 points on the day.

Having languished in the basement since the start of the race, Darden has pulled himself back in with a shout and now lies in 6th place overall. The whole standings have taken a dramatic change-up and DS Ron Swenson's formerly staggering lead has now been whittled down to a tenuous margin. DS Todd Braswell's 2nd place performance today was enough to move him into 2nd place overall with a gap of just 48 points to the maglia rosa.

In further news, DS Jeff Welch's gambit of stacking his team with young up and comers has not fared well and he has now fallen back to the lanterne rouge position. Could the broom wagon be looming large for this team?

Complete Results

The long and winding road

Some of you have noticed my posting from far afield these last few days. I have spent the last four days on a bus trip with the Early College freshmen to the Outer Banks of NC. I just got home and am exhausted. Rest assured that I have not made my fortune in either the bike business (Ha!) or teaching (HA HA!) and retired to a secluded beachside bungalow. Besides, the mountain biking looked pretty nonexistent and the road riding opportunities seemed to be confined to a single road. Who would leave our little bit of cycling paradise for that? Although surfing looked pretty cool...

Swenson savors sweet success!

Lenoir, NC (LC Press) - Shooting Star Racing had another perfect day in the Luna Cycles Fantasy Giro d'Italia presented by Chuck L's Mangina Cream. By claiming the stage victory with a huge 90 point day, DS Ron Swenson has once again taken the maglia rosa with a substantial 83 point margin over second place. This strong team looks to be asserting itself as a major factor as today's stage saw a throwdown of sorts from the major figures in this year's race.

As the true contenders assert themselves, those teams heavy on sprinters and other stagiere opportunists may find themselves slipping out of contention with no real hope of recovering. Other teams just need to have riders place in the top 10 instead of the top 20 to make a go at the lead in the GC. It seems that now the directeurs must rely solely on the fates and fortunes of their most mercurial team members: the pure climbers and the GC contenders. The next few days may very well see a winnowing of the wheat from the chaff.

Complete Results

The mad scramble continues

Beaufort, NC (LC Press)- The lead in the GC of the Luna Cycles Fantasy Giro d'Italia has switched yet again. In what is quickly shaping up to be a battle amongst the sprinters on each team, chaos reigns in the overall battle for the maglia rosa. Taking the lead once again, Eddie Winkler is showing a no-holds barred attitude in placing his team firmly at the head of affairs.

A scoring mix-up from two stages ago has been corrected, but even this was not enough to rescue DS Jason Darden from the depths of despair. Despite his team having "good sensations" they were unable to pull off any meaningful placing today and managed to only garner 1 point from Paolo Bettini's 19th place finish.

The team sprinter's have not managed to rack up huge points in the last few stages, so it remains to be seen if the large point margins that the leaders now enjoy will be enough to fend off the charges of those teams that have placed their emphasis on climbers and time trialists. Several of the mid-pack teams may prove to be snakes lying in wait in the tall grasses of the Alps.

Complete Results

Sprinters robbed, dicey day for directeurs

Kitty Hawk, NC (LC Press)- Another day of movement and turmoil in the Luna Cycles Fantasy Giro d'Italia presented by Chuck L's Mangina Cream. DS "Redline" Ron Swenson seized his team's first maglia rosa with a mere 16 point gain in today's stage. Swenson now holds a tenuous 7 point lead over DS Eddie Winkler.

Many teams have been hit hard by the lack of consistency from their sprinters, while other teams are hoping for better performances as the roads tilt upward. The strategies are beginning to play out more like gambles, but there is still a lot of race left to be ridden.

GS Spurtschnookers are still languishing in the basement. DS Jason Darden may be seeing his career ending with a whimper in what could be his last Fantasy Giro d'Italia.

Complete Results

The switcheroo

Kitty Hawk, NC (LC Press)- A romp by the sprinters brought a much needed stage win to DS Max Dyer's team. Heavy on sprinters, this was the stage finish that Dyer needed to drag himself out of the basement.

Eddie Winkler's team still remains in the lead of the GC, but that lead is not out of reach of several teams. Another strong sprint stage could bring his lead to an end. Many teams now find themselves in a must win position in order to remain in the chase for the maglia rosa. DS Jason Darden, though blessed with years of experience, may be seeing hopes of glory in this race fading as he has come to own last place in the GC. A good result for this aging veteran would be a feel good result that would delight the tifosi'

Complete standings

Winkler regains lead in crash filled stage

Lenoir, NC (LC Press) - Eddie Winkler has retaken the lead in the Luna Cycles Fantasy Giro d'Italia presented by Chuck L's Mangina Cream.

Complete results

Winkler wins, then washes out!

Lenoir, NC (LC Press) - Not since the spectacular implosion of Team 7-11 at the Tour de France in 1986 has a team gone from ecstasy to agony in so brief a time as DS Eddie Winkler's team at this year's fantasy Giro d'Italia. Saturday saw a dominant performance by the team in the most technical of cycling disciplines: the team time trial. With an impressive 1st, 2nd and 4th places in the TTT, Winkler took control of this year's fantasy Giro in commanding fashion. The elation would not be lasting...

Like Icarus, Winkler's team may have flown too high in yesterday's stage for today saw them humbly tumble back to Earth, exposed as the mere mortals that they truly are. Yesterday's stars failed to post a single rider in the top 20, and thus they fell from 1st to 3rd in the Luna Cycles Fantasy Giro d'Italia presented by Chuck L's Mangina Cream general classification.

The truly remarkable story of today was that of DS Todd Braswell's team. A respectable, but uninspiring effort yesterday by the team was nicely disposed of with an emphatic stage win today, vaulting the team from 10th to a tie for 4th in the general classification. The team now lies within 9 pts. of taking the 3rd position from Winkler's team.

Two solid performances by DS Jeff Welch's team have moved him into a remarkable lead of 30 pts in the general classification. Welch has obviously come to this years fantasy Giro with a singular goal of winning the overall in a display of pure dominance. He now has 19 stages left to prove himself.

Complete results

Fantasy Giro - TTT Quick Results

LC Press (Lenoir, NC) - Preliminary results are here. Full story to follow.

tick tock...

Giro team deadline is 8am tomorrow! Get 'em in!

Fantasy Giro d'Italia, scoring breakdown

Pick 3 riders. They will be scored as follows-
PLACE 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20

POINTS 100 90 80 70 60 50 40 30 20 15 10 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 1 1

Riders will only receive points for their stage placing. NO POINTS FOR GC OR ANY OTHER CATEGORY! Riders will receive points for the TTT based on the team's finish.

If you need further clarification, just drop me a line!

Homage to il pirata

Nobody rocks the pink jersey like an Italian and the one who stood out above the rest was Marco Pantani. The classic combination of Bianchi's trademark Celeste (a color that seems to go with every other color you put it with) and the fabled pink hues of the maglia rosa just ooze an italian sense of style that no other riders seem to be able to touch.

Let Marco remind you to get your Giro team picks to me by Saturday at 8am. Imagine him in that inimitable style: hands in the drops, standing up on the pedals in some insane gear and flying up improbably steep climbs, and now think of him chasing you down, screaming at you to get your team together!

Also, remember that Cycle to Serve is this Saturday at 8am. There will be a 40 and 60 mile route, so there's a little bit of pain to go with any rider's needs! And don't forget: top 5 finishers in each ride get a homemade cake. CAKE! And everybody gets to partake in a huge potluck lunch that is the best post-ride meal I've ever encountered. Beats the hell out of those off-brand sandwich cookies at the top of Grandfather Mtn. at the end of Bridge to Bridge!

Come out and ride the beautiful roads that we get to train on all the time!

Fantasy Giro d'Italia approaches

Lenoir, NC (LC Press) - The tifosi are swelling with excitement in anticipation of this weekend's kickoff of the greatest Grand Tour of the season. Team rosters are being finalized, while some fantasy directeurs sportif are playing the waiting game and not releasing their rosters, presumably waiting until the last minute to do so.

By all accounts and armed with the rosters that have been posted, this year's fantasy Giro looks to be an epic contest of strategy and a true battle amongst the top fantasy teams in cycling today. Noticeably absent from the listings are the two men responsible for dominating this season's fantasy Ardennes classics: Howard Hesterberg and Max Dyer. Dyer was truly coy and cagey when confronted about finalizing his team roster, remarking, "I have until Saturday morning at 8 am." Other than a minor rules clarification, Hesterberg has been incognito. Could these two teams be tired from their incredible run at the final week of the classics season? Or will they pull another rabbit out of the hat and continue their dominance of the fantasy peloton?

Il Giro d'Italia di fantasia

The need for some rules clarifications in the Luna Cycles Fantasy Giro d'Italia presented by Chuck L's Mangina Cream has reared its head. Howard Hesterberg has correctly nailed the crux of the competition on the head: you choose 3 riders for the entire Giro, not 3 riders per stage. This is where the strategery comes into play. Since the riders are only given points for finishing in the top 20 of each stage and no points are given for any overall classification, you gotta make some tough choices to field the best 3 man team you can. *You do not need to be local to play! (I will mail you your prizes if you win!) Email your 3 man team picks to me by 8am est, Saturday, May 10th!

In a completely unrelated and nonfantasy sidenote, none other than President Bill Clinton came to Lenoir today to speak. This sort of thing would be a big deal anywhere, so the fact that he was a block from the bike shop and a 1/4 mile from my house makes it pretty cool. It is also pretty cool that the NC primary will actually mean something. Usually, things are pretty well locked up by May in the presidential primary season, but this one looks to be coming down to the wire! You know it's serious when they start posting primary results from Guam. I didn't even know they had a primary...

In other shop news, we are swelling with 2008 bikes! Just got in the new BMC Trail Fox long-travel full-suspension mountain bike, and the '08 BMC SL01 in the new stealth black-and-white paint scheme! Lots and lots of Specialized bikes are in, too, including Roubaixs and Tarmacs. Come check it out!

Fantasy Giro d'Italia

Il Giro starts on May 10th and so does the Luna Cycles Fantasy Giro d'Italia presented by Chuck L's Mangina Cream. The race format will be simple, yet like many "simple" games, there is a hidden degree of complexity.

So, the deal is this: you pick 3 riders. Those riders receive points based on their finish in the day's stage provided they are in the top 20. There are NO points for GC or any other overall competitions. Fantasy GC will be tallied daily. Prize list is being finalized this week, but the real reward comes from the spirit of competition!

Picks are due in my inbox by 8 am, Saturday, May 10th. Also, don't forget that May 10th is the day of Cycle to Serve, so come get your ride on!

Hesterberg hesitates, Dyer dominates La Doyenne

Lenoir, NC (LC Press) - Max Dyer surged clear of the field to take Liege-Bastogne-Liege with panache and brilliance. Dyer surged clear of an elite group of three that included Jeff Welch and John McMenemy, as well. Dyer seems to have shaken off the anguish and pain of his untrue doping allegations after his Paris-Roubaix brilliance by bookending the last weeks of the classics season.

John McMenemy just nipped Jeff Welch at the line eeking out a slim 10 pt advantage. The rest of the field, including Howard Hesterberg, languished behind the three escapees. The gap proved too large to close, turning the remnants of this record-sized fantasy peloton to a field of also-rans.

Welch made a statement following the race expressing bitter disappointment at the waste of what he thought would prove to be the legs needed to win.

On the edge of Liege

Sean Kelly, 1984, Liege-Bastogne-Liege (from Bobkestrut)

The fantasy cycling peloton is all aflutter trying to make their picks for tomorrow's L-B-L. The cagey veterans are starting to feel the nerves, too. The second guessing going on right now over who could possibly still have the energy and the will to make it across tomorrow's finish line first is indescribable. It's like trying to figure out which pair of underwear to wear for your senior prom. Given the right circumstances, that decision could be life altering, so you'd better get it right.

To up the ante, Luna Cycles is pleased to announce that up for grabs to the winner of tomorrow's fantasy race is the just released Specialized Classics t-shirt. I haven't seen it yet, but Jeff assures me it is "badass". Mandatory drug testing will be in effect, so keep it clean! Good luck and get those picks in by 5am (John and Peter).

A bitter pill indeed

Lenoir, NC (LC Press) - Still smarting from his near miss at Fleche Wallone, Ron Swenson has put in his picks for L-B-L. "I will be shattered if [Howard Hesterberg] pulls off the sweep that he predicted!" said the gutsy newcomer to the fantasy peloton. Hesterberg, along with many other fantasy cyclists have been keeping a low profile as they make final preparations for Sunday's race. While Swenson has shown the exuberance of youth by making his picks with 2 days still left before the race, it can only be assumed that the cagier and more experienced fantasy cyclists are taking their time to assess the toll that these past two weeks of racing have taken on the riders.

Max Dyer may be the dark horse favorite for this race. Still bruised and battered from defending himself against spurious doping allegations following his huge win of the fantasy Paris-Roubaix, Liege represents his last bid for redemption in this year's spring classics. Or is the lackluster performance that he turned in at La Fleche the sign that his Paris-Roubaix was a mere flash of brilliance in what may eventually be regarded as a banal and pedestrian fantasy cycling career?

Hesterberg repeats!

Lenoir, NC (LC Press) - He called his shot early this week coming off of a big win at Amstel Gold and now, Howard Hesterberg is now two-thirds of the way to sweeping this last week of the spring classics season. The fatigue of taking Amstel Gold in a near sweep of the podium must have taken a toll as the grand old man of the peloton just barely edged out Ron Swenson. Hesterberg could muster no better than a 4th and 5th place fantasy pick, but it was just enough to beat out Swenson's 4th and 6th place picks!

Next up is this Sunday's Liege-Bastogne-Liege, La Doyenne. This is the last of the Ardennes classics and has been contested since 1892. After this one, the classics season is pretty much drawn to a close. Get your picks in by 5 am Sunday morning! All eyes are on Hesterberg! Will he crack under the pressure?

Fantasy La Fleche

We need 4 more riders to make the field for tomorrow's fantasy Fleche Wallone! Howard Hesterberg has thrown down the gauntlet by stating his intention to sweep this final week of the major spring classics. Hving already taken Amstel Gold, he is one third of the way there! Entries due to me by 5am Wednesday morning!

Going big time

The official Luna Cycles website is now up and running! Check it out at www.lunacyclesnc.com

Huge win for Hesterberg!

Lenoir, NC (LC Press)- In a defiant show of experience, Howard Hesterberg has dominated this year's fantasy Amstel Gold race. The grand old man of the fantasy peloton placed an astounding 3 riders in the top 4. By picking Cunego, Schleck and Rebellin the "brewmeister" racked up an amazing 1st, 2nd and 4th place. The local fan base can breathe easy knowing that Hesterberg has passed the doping controls.

The strain of the past week's doping allegations showed in the performance of pre-race favorite, Max Dyer. In what initially looked like defiant show of force designed to wreak vengeance on those who had wrongfully accused him of doping, Dyer faded and could only muster 4th and 19th place. Newcomer John McMenemy showed flashes of brilliance, but came up short in the finale.

The next fantasy race will be La Fleche Wallone, this Wednesday. Email your 3 riders by 5 am Wednesday morning.

Free Dyer!

Lenoir, NC(LC Press)- Documents have just come into our possession which call into serious question the validity of fantasy cyclist Max Dyer's recent positive tests for doping. The documents show a string of serious and egregious testing errors in both methodology and protocol at the Hey Bo Muffler Shop and Drug Testing Lab, located in Lick Log, NC.

According to the leaked documents, Hey Bo had cut back on the use of its gas spectral chromatograph due to recent budgetary shortfalls. Instead of using the precision diagnostic equipment mandated by USADA and WADA, lab technicians were instructed to assess urine samples by sniffing them. If a urine sample was questionable, a "taste test" was used as the final determiner of a positive or negative result. According to one anonymous lab employee, technicians just flipped coins to determine whether a sample was positive or negative.

USADA has decided that it must drop all doping charges against Mr. Dyer, effective immediately. Dick Pound, former head of WADA and current board member of the Court of Arbitration for Sport released an unusually terse statement to the media: "I don't need proof to know that someone is a doper."

It is unclear at this time whether Mr. Dyer and his legal team have been made aware of this turn of events. Attempts to contact Mr. Dyer were unsuccessful.

Amstel Gold Fantasy Race

It's that time again! Send in your 3 rider picks for Amstel Gold by 5 am Sunday morning. We've got another Luna Cycles pro pack up for grabs. Scoring will be the same as Paris-Roubaix.

*due to recent doping scandals in the fantasy cycling peloton, we are pleased to announce our new partnership with the Agency for Fantasy Cycling Ethics. We are committed to ridding the fantasy cycling peloton of the scourge of doping and hope that you will join us in our committment to "Ride clean!"

Good luck!

Newsflash - Dyer clear to race!

Lenoir, NC (LC Press)- Before the "I Believe Dyer" and "Let Max Ride!" campaigns could even get started, an anonymous official within USA Cycling has leaked to the press that under the current anti-doping code, only cyclists and NOT fantasy cyclists can be sanctioned from competition. When contacted directly about this, USA Cycling issued a terse response confirming the anonymous report. This officially clears embattled fantasy cyclist, Max Dyer, for competition. This development paves the way for Dyer's participation in this weekend's fantasy Amstel Gold race.

While Dyer must still fight a legal battle to clear his name, he is currently clear to continue his spring fantasy classics campaign. This development may also bring him closer to closing the rumored deal with the Rock&Republic fantasy cycling team ahead of next month's fantasy Giro d'Italia.

Dyer implicates Mangina Cream

Lenoir, NC (LC Press) - In the latest press release from fantasy cyclist Max Dyer, his previously defiant tone in the face of recent doping allegations has now given way to a more defensive one. Dyer has now implicated his use of Chuck L's Mangina Cream, a popular chamois cream, as the exogenous source of cholinesterase inhibitors in his A sample.


In what the press has now dubbed the "anchovy oil for drugs" affair, the case has now become very unclear with the accused cyclist all but confirming the positive result before the return of the B sample results. According to Chuck Luddeke, president and CEO of Chuck L's Mangina Cream, released this statement in response to Dyer's accusation:

Chuck L's Mangina Cream is an all-natural chamois cream made from the finest anchovies, cayenne pepper and our patented blend of 12 secret herbs and spices all mixed in a smooth shea butter base. It is utterly impossible for this product to cause a cyclist, fantasy or otherwise, to test positive. We unequivocally deny these allegations from Mr. Dyer and will do whatever it takes to defend ourselves. We are currently looking into what legal recourse we have in this matter and will refrain from any further public comment.

Repeated attempts to reach Mr. Luddeke at his private retreat deep in the Tyrolean mountains were unsuccesful.

In documents provided by Mr. Dyer's legal team, data has been provided that shows how anchovies who have two sets of DNA as the result of a "vanishing twin" anchovy can have abnormally high concentrations of cholinesterase inhibitors in their spinal columns. It is the contention of Dyer and his legal team that this is the cause of the A sample positive, not a planned doping program.

USADA today released the results of Dyer's B sample test. The positive B sample confirms the A sample positive and immediately sanctions Mr. Dyer from further fantasy cycling competition.

Dyer defiant, Ball confirms

Lenoir, NC (LC Press) - In a statement issued yesterday, Max Dyer, embattled winner of Sunday's Luna Cycles Paris-Roubaix contest, defiantly stated his intentions to be confirmed as the true victor in the contest. Dyer also stated that he is currently in negotiations with Michael Ball of Rock Racing, but did not elaborate on what place he might have in that organization. Curiously missing from the press release was any denial of the charges leveled against him.

A local lab has leaked the positive results of Dyer's A sample for cholinesterase inhibitors, a drug which may have some effect on a rider's ability to see into the future. Called by many "a miracle of sports forecasting", Mr. Dyer's performance on Sunday showed him correctly picking the first 3 places in Sundays contest. USADA has declined comment on the case until the B sample test is completed.

In a telephone interview with Michael Ball, head of Rock Racing, he confirmed the negotiations between his organization and Mr. Dyer. "Are you kidding me? The guy picked the top three correctly, I mean, who wouldn't want a guy with those skills as a part of their team.", Mr. Ball stated. Rock Racing is currently looking at jumping into the fantasy cycling arena by fielding a Rock&Republic Fantasy Cycling Team. It is rumored that Dyer is being wooed as a potential directeur sportif for the upcoming Fantasy Giro d'Italia and this summer's Fantasy Tour de France. When pressed about trying to add yet another drug-scandal tinged cyclist to his organization, Mr. Ball remains defiant. "I don't care about the 'powers that be'. This is a team about winning and Max has shown he is a winner. We were partying at the Crazy Horse in Myrtle Beach just last week. The guy is all class and that's what Rock Racing is all about. I've got this 13 year old kid on the staff who is a total wiz with computers and excel spreadsheets and crap like that. You add Max to that kind of statistical firepower and magic is gonna happen!"

Newsflash

Lenoir, NC (LC Press) - The cycling world was rocked today by yet another doping scandal. Sunday's winner of the Luna Cycles Paris-Roubaix contest, Max Dyer, has returned a positive A sample. Declared the winner in Sunday's contest, Dyer chose the top 3 finishers on the days event, a result that seemed too astounding to be true.

An unidentified laboratory, deep in the woods of Appalachia has confirmed that Dyer's A sample has been found to contain unusually high concentrations of cholinesterase inhibitors, a class of chemical associated with Alzheimer's medications. Preliminary research has shown that high concentrations of these drugs in healthy people can cause temporary powers of divination (seeing into the future).

Dick Pound, former head of the World Anti-Doping Association and board member of the Court of Arbitration for Sport, stated that Dyer should be immediately sanctioned from the sport. He went on to say, "I hope Mr. Dyer is able to see into his own future, because I am going to pursue this case with the same ferocity as I have every other doping case in cycling!"

Luna Cycles has suspended the awards ceremony for Sunday's contest until after the B sample test confirms the positive result.

We have a winner!

Picture courtesy of home2.scarlet.be

Boonen stepped up and claimed the cobblestone trophy on Sunday. I haven't watched the race yet, but the bits that I followed online were exciting. My picks for the day were Boonen, Hincapie, Devolder. While they all figured in the top ten, it was not the best 3 rider choice for the day's contest. The winner of the Luna Cycles pro pack is Max "ghost-faced killah" Dyer. He chose Boonen, Cancellara and Ballan who just happened to finish 1-2-3 on Sunday. Congrats, Max! You can stop by the shop and claim your prize!

God save the Queen!

Sunday! Sunday! Sunday! Come see the hardest men in the pro peloton duke it out over the worst cobblestones in Europe!

Hell, yeah! The Queen of the Classics, l'enfer du nord, none other than Paris-Roubaix is happening this Sunday. Current weather predictions are for rain, so we should see another epic and classic running of this brutal race. This year features an additional 150 meters of cobbles, but remember folks, these ain't just regular old cobbled roads. Nope, these suckers were built by the Romans, as in Caesar. You think it takes a while to get a pothole fixed in your neighborhood? Think about having to deal with roads that haven't been resurfaced in a thousand years!

To celebrate this most exciting one-day race, I'm offering up a Luna Cycles Pro Package (t-shirt, water bottle and socks) to the winner of our little Paris-Roubaix Pick the Winners contest. Here's the deal:

Pick 3 riders. They will be scored as follows-
PLACE 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20

Points 100 90 80 70 60 50 40 30 20 15 10 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 1 1


Most points wins!

Tie breaker question: # of finishers (according to cyclingnews.com)

Email your picks and finisher # to me (must be in my inbox by Sunday at 5am est)

Must have at least 5 entrants to play, so spread the word!

Now go do your homework and email me your picks!

Enough with the weather, already!

Stijn Devolder takes Der Ronde de Van Vlaandren in the Belgian National Champion jersey!

The weather has been all over the map the past few weeks. Some days (inevitably days that I have time to get out on the bike) it has been cold, chilly, windy, rainy, wet and generally unfun approaching downright miserable. Then there have been brief sojourns into glorious springtime when you are warmed by a shining sun overhead and the birds chirp and sing in something out of a Disney cartoon. I'm ready for a more permanent spring. The elusive nature of pleasant weather has made the colder, grayer days that much harsher and I, for one, have had enough.

I do count my blessings that I am not in Belgium right now, staring down the barrel of the short, intense spring classics season that is now laid out upon the cobbles beckoning the flauhutes forward to glory (or disaster). Stijn Devolder burst out of the chaos to show that Quickstep are more than just a two-trick pony (Bettini and Boonen) to take the Tour of Flanders with panache (read more about it here). He is all set to give the peloton a good what-for in tomorrow's Gent-Wevelgem. The true gem, though, comes this Sunday with l'enfer du nord, Paris-Roubaix. The weather forecast is pointing towards classic Roubaix conditions:rain, mud, possible snow. There are some big men who are showing they are in with a shout: Boonen is claiming to have lots of power and the ability to win without the race coming down to a sprint; Magnus Backstedt is powering his way over the cobbles and claims that his form is coming along perfectly; even George Hincapie is showing glimpses of the right form for the cobbles in what can arguably be called his last legitimate shot at winning the Queen of the classics. Stay tuned...

Things have been pretty weather dependent around the shop. When the weather is good we're busy, when the weather is less than pleasant we're working on the bathroom (the soon to be unveiled, fully remodeled Taj Matoilet!). As a way of making room for Spring stuff, we are closing out all of our '07 and winter clothing for 20% off! We are also making an offering to the weather gods by putting all shorts and gloves on sale for 10% off! So something for the season that is passing and something for the season that is (hopefully) coming!

Last, but not least, get out and ride! Tuesday/Thursday rides are leaving at 5:30 and Saturday rides are leaving at 9am. Jeff and I have been doing some mtn. biking at Dark Mtn/Overmountain Victory and I think it is close to time for doing some Wilson's Creek mtn. biking. Give us a call or stop by the shop if you are interested in joining us for some fun in the dirt!

It's coming...

Paris-Roubaix is coming. If you have never seen it, you have no idea what you are missing. It is a race that can only be appreciated in terms of suffering and tragedy. It is a race that no amount of training and dope can ensure a finish, let alone a victory. I know many cyclists who dream of being Lance Armstrong and winning the Tour de France, but for me, my dream was to FINISH Paris-Roubaix.

There are not many moments in your life that can be recalled with crystal clarity, especially with the distance of time, but I can tell you what I was doing 2 weeks after Easter, 22 years ago. I was watching this:



on CBS Wide World of Sports. That cheesy John Tesh music still makes my heart beat faster with the thrill of bike racing. You think cycling is obscure now, try the 80's. The cyclists I hung around all seemed to be in on a big secret that nobody else knew about. All I know is that I fell in love with cycling watching Sean Kelly win the Paris-Roubaix. My friend Jason loves Kelly to this day, but back then he worshipped him. He emulated everything he could about Kelly (except for the atrocious position on the bike). I emulated Andy Hampsten who seemed like doomed quicksilver from the moment he set foot in Europe, but managed to win the Giro d'Italia in such an epic way that no one will ever forget it. I long for the less antiseptic racing of that era and Roubaix still offers glimpses of that greatness.

Early season inaction

Saturday was the first race of the season for me. A nice little road race near Albemarle. A nice rolly course, but with some seriously narrow roads that would make moving around pretty difficult.

I toed the line as one of the biggest non-threats in the peloton. Few could fathom how indecisive a role I would play in the days events. All went well as I rolled around, until the 500m mark. The moto official rode up the left side of the group and warned some riders to watch the yellow line. A flick, a touch and a little cascade of riders started breaking my way. I tried to avoid it but just couldn't. A biggish guy came right across my line. I caught him square, went over the bars, and somehow caught his top tube across the shins. With a presence of mind that reflects my experience, I chose to tuck and land on the big guy and surf him rather than the pavement. At this point in the crash cycle I began laughing loudly. We came to a stop, me laughing, big boy looking shaken and another guy faintly going "Unhhhhhhh" and clutching his arm to his chest in the international sign for "I have messed up and broken my collarbone."

Well, who'd a guessed you could crash in a Cat IV race for no good reason? Well, color me surprised! I ripped a hole in my new shorts, but no scrapes. The bonus is that I have definitively proven that my left shoulder is the heaviest part of my body. Throw me up in the air and I'll land on it first every time. I'm sore directly underneath a big scar from another road racing crash which is right on the point of collarbone that sticks up from my shoulder separation suffered during a mtb race many years ago. I've guess I'll have to do another one soon just to redeem myself...

In the "Will the idiocy never stop" department, check out the latest EPO scandal to rock the european sports world here. WTF indeed.

Your voices were heard!

Thank you to all of you who emailed and called to voice your concern over the incident involving Todd Brawell! Also, thank you to Lenoir Chief of Police Joey Reynolds for taking our concerns seriously enough to meet with Jeff first thing this morning at the shop. But the real attention should focus on Todd's interaction today:

I just wanted to let everyone know that I also have been contacted
by the Chief this afternoon. We had a very positive and lengthy
discussion about this matter. It is obvious that our voices have been
heard on this issue. The chief mentioned several times about all the
calls and emails he has recieved over this issue. I told him that the
cycling community feels strongly about this issue. I explained to him
that my issue wasn't seeing someone "get a ticket" but that I was
very concerned that this sets a very dangerous precedent. The chief
explained that even in automobile accidents they do not always cite.
I do not think this is a wise policy but it is the policy
nonetheless. He did go on to say that in all accident cases a report
is filed which shows the "contributing factors" to the accident. In
other words it declares "fault" in a round about way. I asked had
that report been filed in my case and did it show fault. He said he
would pull the report. I also asked if I could have a copy. I
explained that I thought a declaration of "fault" would be a step in
the right direction. Within 10 minutes I had the report delivered to
the church office. It does indicate that the driver of the
vehicle "failed to yield the right of way." I feel much better about
this situation after talking with the chief, receiving the report,
and seeing how they responded to this issue after so many voiced
concern. I ended the conversation by assuring the chief that I
support the very difficult work they do in law enforcement and that I
appreciated him contacting me personally. Thanks to all who voiced an opinion in this issue. Your voices were heard loud and clear.

Todd

Chief Reynolds voiced some concerns with Jeff in their meeting this morning that I would like for us all to address. Let us be very clear in acknowledging the support that the Lenoir Police Department and Chief Reynold in particular have shown towards cycling and cycling events in our community. The police department has always been helpful and courteous whenever we have approached them with regards to an event. One thing that was foremost in the conversation was the question posed by the police, "What would you like us to do?" This seemed to be posed in a way as to what would we ,the local cycling community, hope to gain from voicing our concerns in this matter. That is a big, weighty question...

Jeff and I have both had friends who were killed by drivers who "didn't see" the cyclist that they ran over. In all of these instances, the cyclists were obeying the laws and were killed by drivers who were guilty of some minor traffic infraction, such as failure to yield the right of way. I would hope that by our vocalizing concern for how this situation was handled, that the police department might take these "minor" traffic infractions a bit more seriously. It is important for all of us to realize that the only protection that we have while riding is from the code of safe conduct that is embodied by the traffic law. I hope that the message we gave to the police department is how disheartening it is to feel that the apparent protection of the law might not really be there for us. I for would like to see our voices of concern heard now by those who are charged with protecting our safety, rather than having to wait for more sorrowful circumstances. For me, ghost bikes are too late.

We are all loved by someone, be it our parents, spouses, children or friends. We all deserve to be safe. We all deserve to be seen.

Let Chief Reynolds know that we appreciate his attention to our concern and that we hope to maintain a meaningful dialogue with the Police Department over matters of cycling safety.

WTF

I have been putting this post off in the hopes of having a nice ending for it, but that ship has apparently sailed (for the time being). Last week, everyone's favorite bike ridin' preacher, Todd Braswell, had the unfortunate experience of being hit by a car while riding his bike to work at Lower Creek Baptist Church.

Todd was in the middle turning lane on Hwy 18 waiting for traffic to pass in order to turn left onto a side road. A car was at the stop sign of this side road waiting to make a left turn on to Hwy 18. Traffic cleared and Todd began to make his turn. The driver at the stop sign initiated his turn at the same time and hit Todd. Todd was lucky in that his injuries were minor. However, the police officer who responded to the accident decided not to cite the driver of the car because the driver stated that "he didn't see" Todd.

This is a very bad situation. It is my (and many others) firm belief that had this been two cars, a citation would have been written. What the driver in this situation did was fail to yield the right of way to another VEHICLE. Todd was lucky, but we must do everything in our power to voice our concern over this situation. We can't let the precedent be set that as long as a cyclist isn't too badly injured it's okay to hit them with your car. We must BE VOCAL!

Cycling is very popular in our area. We have two major cycling events that bring 500 to 800+ riders each to this area. Cycling is closely associated with our area and contributes a great deal of money to our local economy. We must preserve the safety of our roads.

Get involved.

1. Write a letter to the editor of the New Topic (Here is the contact link)

2. Email the Lenoir Chief of Police, Joey Reynolds (also a cyclist):
jreynolds@ci.lenoir.nc.us

3. Email the Sheriff of Caldwell County:
ajones@caldwellcountync.org

Don't take this lying down! Let your voice be heard!

Math lesson

Despite the fact that I teach Physics and used to teach Math, sometimes simple mathematics is beyond my comprehension. The latest math problem to blindside me has been a fairly simple equation, to wit:

2 adults + 2 dogs + 1 (destructive) cat + 1 eighteen month old baby boy



less than 1000 square feet of stuff

Now, I hear the naysayers among you saying that that is plenty of room to cram together all that stuff. Others may want to post comments regaling me with tales of how they grew up in a family of 22 that all lived comfortably and happily in a 12ft by 12ft Tuff Shed. Great. I'm happy for you, but for us the situation is tight.

This is a pretty roundabout way of saying that I haven't been posting lately due to a severe case of the lifestyle pare-downs. I have been posting everything that isn't nailed down on ebay. Want a slightly overripe banana? Do a search, I might have put one up for auction at the rate I'm going!

In case you haven't seen or heard: the new Sledgehammer Charlie's team kits are here and they look awesome! Look for us clad in our new white, orange and gold kits as we train and race this coming year! But you might want to avert your eyes from the groin region if it's a rainy day!

Things are happening as far as the shop is concerned. We have a new logo which now adorns the fresh batch of water bottles we just got in. I have finished doing the stud work in the bathroom, electricity has been run and a new toilet and sink are just around the corner! But the biggest news of all is that we have an official website that will be going live in the next month! You can check it out at lunacyclesnc.com and stayed tuned for the full version.

Lastly, in an effort to get some of you to retire some of your less becoming cycling clothing and to celebrate the coming warm weather that should be here soon (fingers crossed) we are putting ALL of our clothing that is in stock on sale for 20% off! This includes winter clothing and fresh '08 spring clothing!

And now to share a more personal story. I have recently begun to experience the effects of rapid cognitive degeneration. The evidence that I have for this is that by thursday of this week, I will be registered to race in the Burn 24 hour mtn. bike race that will be taking place May 24-25! I have myself on a very strict training program that consists of riding at least one day a week and slowly rubbing my butt with sand paper for 2 hours every night. In true training fashion, I will be decreasing the grit of the sandpaper each week until just two weeks before the event and will then taper the last two weeks with just a scotchbrite pad so that I will be good and recovered for the race! I will be racing as either a duo or possibly a team (what say ye, Todd?), so stay tuned for more details...

on parenting

When we first found out that we were going to become parents, everyone we knew who had a kid said some variation of the same thing: "Everything about your life is going to change." Now I recognized the validity of this statement and even glimpsed the "abandon all hope ye who enter here" veiled pathos in the eyes of some who uttered these words, but I think I'm beginning to plumb new depths in this realm.

Beyond the occasional well-placed and utterly charming kick to the groin that I encounter during a diaper change and aside from the new fad of flinging hard, dense and sharp-edged toys at Daddy when his back is turned, there are a few things that I think we are starting to enter new territory on.

As we live in a small house and an eighteen month old seems to occupy more physical area than the laws of physics would seem to support (it's like the reverse of Dr. Who's Tardis), our two dogs, Kai and Jenny, are spending more and more of their lives down in the basement and in the backyard. This past weekend I finally became fed up with the state of our basement and embarked on "the big push" to bring order to the chaos. Over the course of this effort, I have uncovered one of the greatest mysteries of our time: how can 2 medium sized dogs (combined weight=110 pounds) shed approximately 4300 lbs. of hair in 6 months? Now, my weight estimate of the gargantuan hairball may be off slightly, but I think you see the point. If humans lost this much of their bodies in the same amount of time we would literally look like toothpicks.

As if this discovery were not enough for one weekend in the Moore household, a second more important discovery was made. What we have discovered promises to alter the very fabric of how fathers will view taking care of their sons from this point forward. We've all been there: mom needs some time to herself (or just needs to get away) and Dad is faced with taking care of his eighteen month old son for a couple of hours. After reading Tickle, tickle for the fiftieth time in a row ("Squelch, squelch in the mud. Splish, splash, scrub-a-dub. Gently, gently brush your hair. Tickle, tickle under there." Yes, I have it memorized along with a LOT of others) you are starting to get a little punch drunk. Said toddler looks on the verge of some sort of emotional release that is sure to include crying and you get that panicky, "What do I do?" running on a loop in your head. Let me assure you, this has NEVER HAPPENED to me. Ever. Period. End of story. But, for those poor unfortunate souls who find themselves in this "hypothetical" situation for real, I present to you: Heavy Equipment Videos. Thanks to nearly 30 years of high level scientists working to advance computer technology and the internet, we have the ultimate way to occupy a little boy! I'm not sure how Owen got so into heavy equipment (he has a special fondness for front-end loaders), but thankfully, enough forward thinking (and brilliant) fathers have posted heavy equipment videos to the internet that his obsession can be easily sated. If you find yourself in this position, try it out and see how well it works!

Sheldon Brown

Many people are writing about the passing of Sheldon Brown yesterday. I don't want to do a disservice to Sheldon by describing him, instead I encourage you to check out his unique and quirky website. My thoughts are with his family and friends. Cyclists and cycling lost a truly great lover of the two-wheeled machine.

No excuses

For anyone with even a passing interest in reading what I have to say, I'm sure that my saying that I have stepped back from frequent posting comes as no surprise. My real job has been claiming more and more of my evenings, making it that much harder for me to keep up with what is going on in the world of cycling, let alone write about it. For example: I haven't even watched 'cross world's yet. For anyone who knows me, this surely is a sign that I am greatly indisposed.

However, I am not unaware of some of the more major happenings in the world of pro cycling and this week saw a doozie. Astana (II- electric Johan Bruyneel-aloo) were utterly dissed by the Giro who decided that the Disco' - uh, scratch that- Ass' Boys would not disgrace the hallowed italian roads with their tainted wheels. Further, ASO is saying that Contador is not a done deal for starting the TdF this year. Oh, that pesky Puerto investigation just won't go away. Interesting in it's exclusion from the Giro is Team High Road who may now have a big target on their back after getting up on their high horse to prove how clean they are. I guess those visits to the hospital to get all of those blood infusions just didn't strike anybody as kosher in Italia.

The big winner in all of this is Team Slipstream who look to be in the catbird seat. What a deal to essentially be a Pro Tour team without all the hassle or expense. Trust me, everyone is going to be tripping all over themselves to invite these guys to their races.

We are starting to get some glimpses of non-winter weather and this week had some truly nice days. Amazingly enough, after weeks of looking like a ghost town, the nice weather brought people into the bike shop in droves. New bikes went out the door like spring had sprung. But don't fret about quiet winters in the bike shop. We planned a bunch of remodeling for this downtime and if you've seen the way we've ripped the bathroom out, you know bike mechanics with time on their hands can be a dangerous thing.

This week I'm going to be going to Asheville for a school conference. The bonus is that I will be staying at the Grove Park Inn for free! I can't wait!

It's a celebration, b*&ches!

A lot has happened this week and I have tried to stay mum and let it all burst forth in one post. This past weekend, cyclocross world champions were crowned in Italy. Lars BOOM had an off day and managed to win world's anyway. I wish I could have off days like that...

Now, even though 'cross is a passion that burns brightly for me through the winter, two far more life changing anniversaries occurred this week. Thursday, January 23rd marked the birthday of one of my personal heroes, Macgyver. I was a huge Macgyver fan, always marveling at his ingenuity and reveling in the utility of commonplace items like chewing gum and aluminum foil. The idea that the raw materials for explosives and gunpowder was truly electrifying in my young adulthood. Truth be told, it still is. However, I remember the day when my faith in Macgyver came to a screeching end. In the episode, Macgyver needed to make an explosive or gunpowder and filed some cheap, third world bicycle frame to get magnesium filings for his concoction. I was shocked. Only a handful of magnesium bicycle frames have ever been produced and you certainly weren't going to find one just lying around like Macgyver had. That is when I realized that the show was all b.s. and Macgyver was all just Hollywood smoke and mirrors. Crushing.

Today, however marks a much happier and far more profoundly life-changing anniversary: the 50th anniversary of LEGO bricks! Oh, the hours I have spent enraptured by these simple plastic bricks. I still have all of the LEGO bricks I have ever owned, sitting in a box in the basement, waiting for when Owen will be old enough to play with them instead of experiencing their choking hazard properties!

Tomorrow night, Luna Cycles and Rock and Road Bicycles will be doing a demo ride night at the "Chicken bone velodrome" in Hickory. The rides are from 5:30 to 8:00 at the Hickory Motor Speedway. Admission cost is $10. Ride is canceled if there is inclement weather. See you there (hopefully)!

The Lion King roars

Some pretty strong words from Cipo' with regards to the pending Rock Racing deal came out today. It would be great to see Cipo' tearing it up on American soil; giving Champagne Opening 101 classes to all the domestic sprinters on the NRC circuit. Imagine the team kit possibilities that a man of Cipo's taste, coupled with the high-end jeans of title sponsor Rock & Republic, could yield! Alas, it may never come to pass...

As the temperatures around here have steadily dropped, the frenetic Presidential Primary process has truly begun to heat up. I took an online quiz to see what candidates were the best match to my opinions on various topics. Imagine my complete chagrin when my number 1 candidate match was with a guy I had never even heard of: Mike Gravel. I have been checking him out and I recognize and agree with most of his positions on the important topics of the present time. However, I am not blind to the fact that the Primary system is a pretty bogus, rigged affair that seems to be run by the National Parties as less of an open forum about what Americans wish for in a President and more about the steamrolling of revolutionary ideas in favor of finding the electable middle-of=the-road candidate. I think we are being done a sever disservice with our two party system.

When we were in Canada two years ago, it was their national election time. We watched the returns and were bewildered by the multiple party format, as there were about 6 or 7 parties involved in the election. The guy that we were renting skis from each day was more than happy to explain things and kept his ridicule of our election process to mere jovial condemnation. But the whole thing made sense. Multiple parties contest seats in the parliament. The party with the most seats is able to choose who the Prime Minister will be. Unless the party with the most seats in Parliament has won a clear majority of the seats (more than all the other parties combined), they have to play nice and try to reach consensus with the other parties. If they try to steamroll anything, the other parties just gang up on them and thwart whatever they are attempting. The beauty is that minority opinions have a voice. This is important to me because I often have to explain my own political leanings by saying, "I would have to move to the right to be a true democrat."

In this country, it seems anathema to engage in political conversation if you inhabit the fringes of our system. Way right or way left and you are pretty much a non-entity. I believe that all of those opinions should be voiced, whether I agree with them or not. Now don't get me wrong, I believe that some positions that people hold are not well thought out, mean, or just plain stupid. But at the same time, I think it is necessary to consider where everyone is coming from just in case you might be able to find common ground. I just know I'm tired of having to choose between whoever is left out of the media-worthiness scrum that we are currently embroiled in...

Snow day!

We got the most significant snowfall I've seen here in a few years last night. Consequently, school was canceled for today and tomorrow! Couple that good fortune with the MLK Day Holiday on monday and Bam! out of nowhere you've got yourself a five day weekend!

I lolled about the house, playing with Owen (watching him eat snowballs two-fisted style!) and then hopped on the mtn. bike to ride in to the shop at noon. I used a little trail that runs from my neighborhood to downtown to fool myself into thinking I was in the woods. The snow on the trail was pristine except for some rabbit tracks that cut back and forth down the entire length of the trail.

Everything is melting now and turning to ice tonight as the temps drop to the 20's. I already miss that fleeting bit of quiet that you only get when there is snow on the ground to muffle all of the world's noise.

Jeff, Chuck and Big E took off for Costa Rica today to do a little riding and surfing in warmer climes. Be sure to scratch them off your xmas list for this little manuever timed oh so perfectly with our first good winter blast in a while!

A must have?

It is time to come to terms with the fact that we have a serious loose dog problem on some of our beloved road ride routes. This Saturday marked the 3rd time I have been chased by the same pack of 6 dogs at the same spot on Hwy. 90 between Lenoir and Collettsville. So here's the deal: the only way something will be done about it is if we call Animal Control and inform them of each and every incident that occurs with any repeat offenders. It's one thing for a dog to be loose now and then, but there seems to be a growing number of dog owners who feel that their dogs should have unfettered access to the road and anything that catches their fancy as it passes by. So here is my little Public Service Announcement:

Beware of the dog pack at 3635 Collettsville Rd.

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They will swarm you from both sides of the road with one dog running ahead and trying to jump out in front of you. If you encounter them and they chase you, please call Caldwell County Animal Control and report the incident. Or you may want to purchase the latest in winter training accessories.

I've been itching to escape the confines of pavement cycling ever since I got a rigid fork for my mountain bike (a very long while ago) and so Sunday, we planned a little ride on the Over Mountain Victory trail at Kerr Scott Reservoir. Jeff, Shelli, Golden, Big E, Nicole and I met at the trail head at 1 o'clock and took off in pretty perfect conditions. We had gotten a decent amount of rain earlier in the week, but rather than being super muddy, the trails were an awesome tacky consistency that allowed for a lot of speed. The ride was an incredible change of pace from the base pace riding we've been doing and it really made me lament how the length of time I've been away from the mountain bike. I'm ready to head out there again as soon as possible...

Super Mario!

The once and future king? Time will tell...